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Well about 2 months later after they took my cast off I was laying in bed and thought if I didn't have that thing between my legs I could dress Any way I wanted so I got the ace bandage they used on my foot and tied it around it and tried to pull it off well as you know it wouldn't just come off but I didn't know that I figured I just wasn't pulling hard enough so I wrapped it around the ladder of my bunk bed and then tied it to my foot and tried to pull it off with my foot that didn't work either so I end up crying my self to sleep that night wishing I was a girl so I could act how I wanted.These feelings have lasted all my life. I'VE only been close to discovery once it happened when I was about 12. Back then the girls at school where wearing leggings and I wanted a pair so I took a pair of my sweat pants and sewed the legs so they fit real tight against my legs with the thread I stole from my mom. They didn't look like what the girls at school wore but they did make me feel more. "Come on, Philip." He said she was a whore with tits the size of beach balls," I said in a rush. I felt my face grow hot. "And he said all her brains were in her boobs and she was too stupid to make money doing anything but fucking!"Then I stopped. The words had burst out of me without thinking and now they hung there like dark gray clouds. I figured the thunder and lightning would come next. Grandma always talked about how liberal she was, but when it came to kids she had some old-fashioned ideas about language.But instead of the storm, I got the silver lining. Grandma came over and hugged me -- gently, so as not to touch my bruises. "Philip, sweetie, that was very gallant of you," she murmured. "A man who defends a woman never has to feel sorry." She stepped back. "But perhaps you might have found some other way...?" I looked up at her, thinking about what a bully Billy Wilson was and thinking that words didn't help much when you're facing somebody who thinks a Batman comic book is.
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